An Open Letter to You. Yes You.

I rant.

Coz it's the only thing I can do.

I'm blue.

'Coz he left me for you.

Dear girl,

I think it's about time to address you. And I think it's about time that you know my side of the story.

Do you know what he said to me when he broke up with me? He said he's in love with somebody else. I was quite shocked, because I thought everything was fine between the two of us. In every way, I am clueless. Clueless that he fell out of love during the latter course of our relationship.

Empathize with me darling. Put yourself in my shoes. You love your boyfriend very, very much. And that didn't fade as the time passes by. In fact, the love you felt for him is exactly as strong as how you felt at the beginning, even growing stronger as each months pass by. The sparks didn't fade, that's why you're very much excited to go home every week to see him.
Then all of a sudden, you'll hear him say, "I love somebody else." Ever thought of how, exactly how much, did that hurt? I have no inkling whatsoever that he loses interest in me, in us. And when I asked him how long has he had an interest on you, he said 10 months. Dear, understand. Won't you be shocked if you knew that almost half of your relationship, was well, practically a lie?

Also, hear me out. He has had 10 months to get over me already, while I have only what? The day from November 20 up to now. And eversince Nov. 20, he has been very vocal and sweet about the love he felt for you which was actually his personality. I don't blame him or you for that. It's not your fault that you fell in love with each other. But, just imagine how would that make me feel. And imagine, that for the first few weeks of our break-up, I have been imagining on how he became so in love with you while still in a relationship with me. Of how he unconsciously flirts with you at school, and you smiling back at him. Or how both of you felt when chatting with each other while playing SIMS. I'm a writer. I'm a dreamer. Most of all, I'm a hopeless romantic. That is why I can very much imagine with such vividness. Try to think of yourself imagining the one you love the most having a nice, sweet time with another girl WHILE YOU ARE OUT THERE IN SOME PART OF THE UNIVERSE THINKING ABOUT HIM.

Let me quote you, "It's sad when people judge me, especially when they only knew me from my blogs and other social networking sites." I haven't said anything against you, or even posted anything that may demean your personality here, or even on blogger. Frankly, I have nothing against you. So it's really sad that you used the word "pathetic" to describe my blog entries. Forgive me for writing a blog full of hurt, anger, resentment and bitterness. Back then, it was the only outlet for my very vicious thoughts. If not for that 'pathetic' blog, I may have gone crazy now.

I'm not telling you this for you to laugh at how miserable I had become. I'm coping. I'm telling you this so you can understand what great impact it has caused me. The thing is, just because he broke up with me, doesn't mean it's over for me. I still had to get over the idea that the guy I love is already in love with someone else who's actually in love with him in return.

And words are failing me. No paragraph long enough can suffice for me to let you understand. You probably wouldn't, but at least I tried to let you know. It's about time.

Just a simple note ♥

I already posted this on Tumblr. But, what sense is there if an open letter to that person isn't actually read by that person? And yeah, I do think that the 'pathetic' blog you're talking about is this blog. Do not judge easily, dearest. This blog has been inactive since December 5. That's 2 weeks after the break-up. One cannot really blame me for ranting back then because the memory isn't just a simple memory, but a cruel reality that just recently happened.

As for the thing that how 'perfect' our relationship is, get this. Some poems are written while we're still together, I was still idealistic and love-blinded that I think it's perfect. C'mon. Every girl thinking they found the right one would think that. 

And another disclaimer, poems are literature works. A variety of meanings can be extracted and a lot of interpretations can be inferred from a very single poem. I have never said a word about claiming that "both of you are delusional to find each other in this crucial world " But, if that's how you interpret it, that's not on me anymore.

NYAHA!