In an Attempt to Make Him Happy

Poem written on Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 8:41pm

If I remember it correctly, my ex-boyfriend needs to pass 5 poems about certain topics. And on our conversation, he happened to have asked for my help. Being the willing victim girlfriend that wants to make her boyfriend happy, I obliged and wrote a poem about the topic "nature".

But to make the long story short, in the end, he did not use this. And thus, the irony is not lost on me: what a befitting title.

Forgotten and Forsaken

I have been walking endlessly

In this land full of misery

I hadn’t known the Earth would be

This lonely without any glee

I forced my eyes to see

What beauty has forsaken me

Rivers that are brown

Made my head go with a frown

Trees are cut mercilessly

By the machines effortlessly

I hear them crying saying no more

But the people just continued just like before

The love of Mother Earth has turned blue

Her sadness is felt without any clue

 Is this her revenge for everything we’ve done?

I wish time would return to do things undone

The hotness is felt by everyone in this place

The ice is melting leaving no trace

This indeed is global warming

That happened without any warning

Of course we deserved this

Since we’re occupied with our own bliss

Being very happy, you and me

Forsaking nature by means of technology

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Of Decisions and Confusions

My life is an open book.

I often say that. Practically because, I have nothing to hide. I am just a person, committing mistakes every now and then. Besides, I don't have any awful secrets to hide in the first place.

Yet, I broke that rule. I protected my tweets just a while ago. It seems a petty issue to discuss but I feel heavy bout it. I decided to do that 'coz it seems unfair. He can see right through me, when I can't. I am actually offended in the first place, though I don't why I should be.

I wanna stop thinking bout it. Better, I wanna stop dreaming bout him.

I wanna stop all the bitterness. So as not to feel any pain.

I wanna not be affected. But it just simply hurts.

To know he doesn't care. And he never will.

I don't know. But deep in the recesses of my very being, I know that he cares. In my subconsciousness, I know he does things he thinks is righteous. Who knows? Maybe he's just protecting my feelings from further pain by seeing through my own eyes that he really doesn't care MUCH about me now.

And the stubborn little me asks "why?" Why is there a need? I am a big girl now. I should be able to handle myself for everything I hear and see. On this twisted head of mine, I feel that people really should stop thinking the worst of me and give me more credit.

I can handle myself. I know I can. No need to protect me whatsoever. The pain is there already. A little more of it won't be much to notice.

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Distance

Distance should never be a problem to two persons loving each other. With the new media we have today,
it is very much possible to interact and show your love to one another. Long distance relationship
is hard yes, it is a matter of trust, absolute trust to the person you love. At the same time,
it is also your responsibility to do something to keep the sparks going. Relationship is a work.
Never let the sparks die. As they say...
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But too much absence makes the heart forget."

It’s easy to forget these days. Distance is really something. It can be a friend or a foe. You would not want it to be the latter. It’s powerful enough to break someone. Yet, at the same time, it can heal the pain.

I never imagined myself going away. I’m not a coward. I face things, obstacles they may be, straight on.  I am kind of masochistic too. Maybe it’s because of my pride, I do not back down. So I do not want to resort to distance to forget and heal. But, I guess that makes me who I am now. I am strong.

But due to the fact that distance is really with me (I study at University of the Philippines Los Banos but I am from Taguig), I cannot help it.

Distance made us weak. Rather, distance made him weak. Hopefully, it will be a friend to me and make me stronger. 

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