RECOLLECTION

This is the very first poem I've written to express my feelings. Just like with Jessie, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been denying up to now that has been my boyfriend, I used to remember things quite clearly months after we've separated, the date, the time, the place even what he have said. But thinking back, I have forgotten those memories which I can recall back then very vividly. Therefore, it can be concluded that I am to forget every excruciating detail and just remember the whole picture. I don’t want that to happen, so here is ‘Recollection’ a poem of how it has happened.

It was a lovely Thursday noon

I was very excited to see you soon

“Alas! After a long time!” was what I said

And I get ready, also a scarf, I shed

In a place full of people we both decided to meet

But suddenly you led me to a place full of green

The grass is calming and the wind is blowing

Then I realized that something will be shocking

You sat on a big square stone and urge me to do so

So I sat beside you like an obedient little fellow

An awkward silence passed between us

I thought it was normal so I did love the hush

But frankly I just didn’t know how I should react

It’s been more than a week since I last saw a smile cracked

But why does it feel to me like I’ve long lost your love?

You’ve been very cold to me but with reasons I did believe

So I turned on in a deaf ear that listens every word

Then out of that silence you called out to plaid

If I was still listening and hearing what you said

Of course I am. I am very much aware

 You even ask me what I was thinking

That confused the hell out of me

‘Coz you never once bothered to know

What I was really thinking

So when you threw the bomb right at my face

I really don’t know how I should feel

When you very oh slowly tell me how you reel

Those feelings for her that overpowers your will

I am in denial, “No this isn’t happening!”

So I asked you if you are sure at what you’ve been thinking

Then you said yes, and I was really frustrated

I thought it was just a plan to leave you incapacitated

You told me you love her better than you have ever loved me

You told me how her face haunts you in your dreams

You told me how her face appears in your memories

You told me how you became close when you played The Sims

I was left there silenced not knowing what to do

Yes, I’ve said I’ll leave you if you didn’t love me

But I was not expecting somebody else in the scene

So yes I am bitter and wanting to scheme

I then realized how pitiful I am

As I try to make you love me when obviously you can’t

I’ve told you to scale your love for me

And I got a 93

Then there she goes,

Simply walking pass by you

Then what does she get?

An amazing 96.

I did everything I can to make us last long

But I guess, our foundation is not just that strong

To surpass the long distance and withhold all the storms,

True love is needed and not a forced affection

I’ll really miss you, but what can I do?

“I’ll be here as long as you needed me to.”

You don’t need me anymore, so I have been told

So thus ends the tale, of the years we’ve had together

Indeed one can’t work out for true love to happen

It just simply acts on its own and attacks you in silence

But when it did, then that’s the time you use all your power

To make it last, for that’s only the time when that happiness is forever.

©ronagie, 10-21-2011